The Pause
A breath between reaction and response
Thank you for showing up and sharing.
A gentle reminder to honor your own story.
I remember a time, nearly twenty years ago, when my story of trauma felt like fire. It burned inside of me. Every word I spoke carried heat. People around me felt it, the sharpness in my tone, the intensity beneath my sentences, the pain I was still carrying. It felt like pain on pain, repeating.
It took time before I realized something important:
Not every story needs to be spoken in the way it was first lived.
Sometimes sharing can sound like,
“I am hurting.”
Instead of,
“Look what they did to me.”
Both statements hold power.
One gives power away.
One is power you own.
I wrote and rewrote my story of pain and hurt. Slowly, it became less heated. Easier to share. Easier to understand. I could access how it shaped me without setting the room on fire.
Sometimes I sent those words to myself under “Journal.” Something I could look back at one day, or not. It became a habit that helped me integrate a pause into my life.
The pause was a necessary part of healing.
It quietly said:
Don’t send… yet.
Re-read.
Process.
Often, I would revisit my words the next day when my mind was in a different space. After coffee. After a meal. After rest.
I call it The Pause.
It is the breath before reaction.
It is the space between feeling and expression.
It is the tool that gives you the ability to respond instead of react.
The Pause allows you to breathe into the depth of your story, not just the context of it.
It creates room for ownership.
For clarity.
For integration.
And sometimes, it changes everything.
There is strength in telling your story.
There is even greater strength in telling it in a way that honors your healing.
Thank you for trusting this space with your voice.
When I was new to healing and someone asked me to share, I either shared everything or nothing. There was no middle ground. I didn’t yet know how to break it down. I didn’t know how to say something simple like:
I just need a friend.
I just need someone to listen.
I just need support.
Will you go for a walk with me?
Needing felt like weakness. That is how I grew up.
So I had to change more than my story. I had to change my mindset. My vocabulary. My understanding of how I showed up in the world for others and especially for myself.
Healing is not only about what happened.
It is about how we choose to hold it now.
It took me a long time to release the fire within me. I learned to do that through The Pause: by walking away from my story, from an argument, or even from my own inner dialogue.
The Pause gave me the tool I needed to dampen the fire without extinguishing my spark.
I have witnessed some of your stories. Thank you for trusting me with them.
And I want each of you to know this clearly:
When I say thank you for sharing, I do not expect a full story.
You have permission to be brief.
You have permission to say only one sentence.
You have permission to say, “Me too.”
You have permission to not share at all.
You have permission to share as little as you like.
I will still be supportive of you.
Healing is not measured by volume.
It is not measured by detail.
It is not measured by how much you reveal.
Sometimes strength looks like speaking.
Sometimes strength looks like silence.
Sometimes strength looks like simply staying in the room.
And maybe, if you are not yet ready to share, you can simply type:
Pause.
And know you are still held here.
If you type “Pause,” I will acknowledge you.
Because you matter.
I love this song and had to share it here. I hope it helps stop the pain on pain, repeating. Here is Imogen Heap with Wait It Out.
Author’s Note
If this story touched something inside you, I’d be honored to hear your reflections.
Whether you’ve lived through chaos, rebuilt your voice, or carried wounds no one else could see, your story matters. Sharing reminds us that we are not alone in the slow, powerful work of becoming.
If this piece resonated, I’d be grateful for a like, a comment, or a share.
And if you’d like to walk this healing journey with me, I invite you to subscribe.
With gratitude,
Chellie 🩷
Chellie Grossman is a Certified Life Coach, Keynote Speaker, and Writer who empowers leaders to reclaim their voice, embrace their strength, and lead with authenticity and purpose.
Well done, Chellie, and sure to illuminate and inspire others.