Stepping stones to the other side

How curiosity helped me on my hike.

Photo Credit: Chellie Grossman

I took a longer than usual walk today, and like a good hiker I followed the arrows on the trees. Deviating from my traditional path felt anxiety inducing. AND…I did it anyway. The last time I switched things up I got lost. REALLY LOST. Today was a new day and I was determined to not have the same experience as before.

Last time, I didn’t look at the trees to see the flags indicating the correct path. Instead, I meandered. I wasn’t focused or alert. It’s okay to loose concentration when you know what path you are on, but when you start one that is new, it is so much wiser to stay focused and know your surroundings.

I found the pretty flower and hiked up toward it. I saw the trees and a path although it wasn’t the right one. I hiked toward what I believed was the correct trail. Somehow I became distracted looking at flowers, fauna and the river.

Photo Credit: Chellie Grossman

Thankfully my phone was able to text a friend “I’m lost”.

He responded “No you aren’t”

I told him the trail I was on and within 30 seconds he wrote back “OMG, you are on a 7 mile trail. I’m calling the ranger.”

When he texted this, there was a full body sigh of relief. I felt cared for and relaxed. I knew everything would be okay.

With one cell bar, I was able to receive a call from the ranger station.

“Do you know where you are?”

“If I knew that, I wouldn’t be lost.” Okay, maybe now is not the time to be sassy.

I didn’t know where I was but I knew the trail that I was supposed to be on, so I told him where I started. It was like a game of “Where’s Waldo” but only they were rescuing Chellie!

“Do you have any medical issues?”

I thought before answering this one. Should I tell him my whole life history or prioritize? I could really scare him with everything and make sure he saves me. I didn’t want to alarm him. So I prioritzed.

“Just an achey hip and leg”

I didn’t think he needed to know about my autoimmune disease, epilepsy, PTSD, and food allergies (just to name a few). Although if he was planning on bringing me a nutrition bar when he found me, it might be good for him to know I am allergic to practically all food! But I told him about my achey hip and leg.

“What do you see around you?”

“I am watching the sunset so I must be East of it. I see a dock. There are some very large rocks in the river.”

This was my view of getting lost.

Photo Credit: Chellie Grossman

He encouraged me to stay put and wait for my rescue. It’s not like I had plans to leave. I had no idea how to get out of where I was. I climbed up so high that back tracking felt dangerous and going ahead felt ominous. I couldn’t even see a path ahead.

I harnessed all of my years of mindfulness training and enjoyed the moments of being lost.

I sat down on the crunchy leaves, apologizing to the bugs beneath me and made myself comfortable for the next couple of hours. I hoped Thich Nhat Hanh was proud of this bug interaction. After all this world is meant for all beings. I learned very well from him. I knew even though I was lost, this experience was meant for me. Instead of feeling afraid, I chose to experience this with peace and joy. Choosing joy and peace is something we have in our capacity every moment. Instead of blaming myself, I looked at this as an opportunity to see and listen to every living thing around me.

I stopped taking photos and tuned into my surroundings.

I listened to the chirping of the birds. I watched as their wings opened and they flew over and around the river that rippled in front of me. I noticed as the sun was setting and how it shimmered on the water casting its image on it. I brought my attention the bugs and ants and crawly critters around me. I imagined all of them traveling somewhere with their families. I wondered what they thought of this giant being. I laughed and watched as some crawled up trunks of trees and others nestled on the fallen leaves. The sounds of the animals that stayed hidden could be heard. I heard munching and scampering. Even in these moments, no fear lived.

The ranger found me. He did not bring me a nutrition bar. But like a super-hero he popped out from behind a tree saying he is here to guide me back. Together we walked the next two miles. He asked me how I got so lost. I wasn’t even on a marked trail. I said I saw a tree with two arrows and it confused me. I told him I stopped to take pictures and became distracted. He explained the arrows and told me this happens a lot. I felt so much better.

“Thank you for saving me. I had faith you would come.”

At the end of the walk back, he got into his truck and I walked the rest of the trail toward my car.

I had faith that I was meant to learn to be accepting, peaceful and calm.

I had faith that I was meant to experience the beauty of this moment.

I had faith I would be found.

FAITH is an amazing and unseeable chord that runs deep within me connecting me to the unknowing yet certain. It has gotten me through every part of my life. Faith is the knowing what I am experiencing is meant for some higher good. It is the unquestionable and unshakable part of my core which causes me to rise every time I fall. I have faith in a new day, faith in a clean slate, faith in myself and faith in a power beyond any comprehension. Some call it Universal Force others refer to it as Gd. For me it is just unshakable faith.

Today I had faith that I would succeed.

I took a new path, a different one from before. I was determined to not get lost this time. Today I looked at the trees and noticed the triangles. I followed the directions the rangers set out for me (and everyone). I followed all the way until I could not follow anymore.

It appeared as if the triangles took me to a dead end. That can’t be. They wouldn’t do that to hikers. That would be a nasty joke. I looked again. Yep. It’s a dead end. I started to turn around so I could backtrack on the path. I stopped. Don’t give up. Find the path. You can do this. I walked back to what I perceived as the dead end where the river rippled and no bridge lay. I looked but could not find the path.

I needed to become curious. Just standing there saying “I don’t see it” didn’t do me any good.

I raised my eyes and began to look around. If the path is not directly in front of me it must be to the side. I looked up and to the left and THERE IT WAS! It was across the river but I needed to step on the stones and get there. I get it! I stepped on the stones and got to the other side.

Sometimes the bridge isn’t visible.

Sometimes we have to make our own bridges.

When I got to the other side, it dawned on me how easy it would have been for me to just turn around. I put time and effort into seeing where I needed to go so I could continue on the hike. Because I remained focused and trusted that the signs were accurate, I made it safely back to my car.

I took a longer than usual walk today. But, I didn’t get lost. I became quiet, patient and curious and then I stepped on one stone at time, so I could finish my path.