Dear Readers and Friends,
As you may know, I am currently in Israel, staying with my dear sister-friend. Below is excerpt two from my stay here. This is regarding this past Thursday December 21, 2023. On this day, Israel offered a cease fire deal to Hamas and it was declined. In retaliation for not getting what they want, they sent rockets.
When the rocket alarm sounded, vibrations pulsed through me, intensifying my confusion. I remained motionless, my body tense and my mind racing, I became like a deer caught in oncoming headlights. Is the sound I am hearing the distant wails of the ambulance or the unnerving indications of an attack? The alarm grew increasingly louder, its shrill sound penetrating the solid stone walls and resonating within me. My heart pounded, and my feet became heavy like bricks, unable to move.
Jennifer spoke with the cool-headedness of someone who has been through this before. Her soft voice became firm and commanding.
“Grab your phone, we need to leave now,” she instructed
As I reached for my phone on the table, I heard the shuffling of feet and the sound of doors slamming shut as all the other residents hurried out of the apartment. From our countless conversations, we had little time to reach the safe room from her sixth-floor apartment. Although I had done this routine with her on WhatsApp video before, being in it physically for the first time was startling. I trusted she knew what to do, and without hesitation, I followed her, my heart pounding in anticipation.
Every door swung open, releasing a flood of residents into the hallway. Each floor contains three apartments, many of which have families. Among the residents were women, children, men, elderly, and disabled individuals, each with their own unique stories. We rushed down a narrow stairway together, the sound of our hurried steps bouncing off the walls. Individuals who lacked the ability to walk discovered solace by sitting in front of their doors, watching the others. There was a deep sadness leaving them behind. Worry consumed me for the safety of everyone. Hurriedly, Jennifer and I followed the crowd as we made our way towards the safe room.
“Move. To the side. One side only!” Jennifer commanded.
She exuded an undeniable sense of authority and control. Moving closely behind her, I perceived the comforting presence of her back under my hand, a constant reminder of our connection. As we passed a woman in a wheelchair, a wave of sadness washed over me. What will she do? How will they do to carry her down if she needs to be? As I passed her, I whispered a prayer in my heart, wishing for her safety. Despite my concerns, it was crucial for me to prioritize Jennifer's safety. We stopped on the third floor.
“That’s far enough.”
“Far enough? Are we safe here?”
“Yes. We will be safe here.”
We pressed our backs against the walls, trying to steady ourselves as we stood in the hallway. With very little time to process any of this, a massive barrage of rockets assaulted the area. Rockets were targeted at Kfar Saba and several other areas, their loud explosions echoing through the densely populated region. The deafening boom that I initially thought was the rocket turned out to be the Iron Dome intercepting it. Thank Gd and Israel for this defense system! Interceptor fragments descended from above, and one of them ended up being discovered in a Kfar Saba High School.
The building trembled beneath my feet, causing me to fear its imminent collapse. The walls, once strong and steady, trembled, causing me to shake with fear. Jennifer's unwavering presence became my anchor as I fixed my gaze on her, my hand tightly gripping hers, providing a sense of stability. “This happened during our video call, right before you arrived, and you saw me trembling. It was so much worse in my apartment, with the sound of missiles echoing through the walls. Down here, the noise doesn’t carry as far. Imagine how they hear it in Tel Aviv?”
She assured me we are safe here where we are. I trusted her completely to take care of me and guide me through this. She has a great sense of intuition and is a born leader.
“Trust your instincts,
Intuition doesn’t lie”-Oprah Winfrey
A cacophony of sounds ensued. The hallways filled with amplified voices of people speaking in Hebrew.
“What is that?” “Who is talking?”
As I looked around, I noticed everyone engrossed in their phones and iPads. Jennifer informed me that everyone was captivated by the news, hanging onto every word. Without the news channel on my device, I relied on Jennifer to keep me informed.
With each pounding missile, my body trembled from the reverberating shockwaves. It sounded like fighter jets were overhead and as if the building were going to crumble. Soon, the missile attack ended.
Living in Israel means experiencing this regularly. Sirens. Leaving your home and belongings behind. We never leave a person behind. We have a reverence for life. We value life above all things. So we gather here for safety, now. Not knowing what’s next. Now I feel as though somehow I have been initiated into a fierce and wonderful group of people.
However, living like this with the ever present danger and need to run and protect yourself and your loved ones daily changes you. How can it not? I feel changed. I was scared, anxious and needed someone there to help me through it. But what about all of the others? What about the people on the street that didn’t have the safety of someone or somewhere to go? What about the children in the schools and teachers that have the responsibilities of so many children who are crying for their parents. This is no way to live for anyone and still a nation survives.
All of this reminds me of PTSD. I am certain this nation, that I love so dearly has collective PTSD. Right now, support is the best way to manage it.
Today, Israel offered a ceasefire deal to Hamas which was declined. Speaking to others, we all believe this is their way for them to pressure Israel for what they want.
As the ten minutes passed in the stairwell, not a single person shed a tear, not even me. No one made a fuss. The big, nasty bully who didn’t get their way with the cease fire deal now threatens Israel. Well, guess what? With unwavering determination, we, the Jewish People, will rise above adversity, our collective strength serving as a beacon of hope. We have a history of rising from challenges. We will continue to do so.
Holding my friend's hand, I felt a profound sense of security, a deep connection, and an immense amount of love. With a quick, sweeping glance, I took in my surroundings, my eyes lingering on the staircase that led me downstairs, bringing me fully into the present moment. Her friend and other residents stood at the bottom of the stairs, outside of their homes, or sat on the stairs waiting for the all clear. We conversed with each other, embracing in a heartfelt hug, while monitoring the news.
The hallway filled with the mouthwatering aroma of freshly made soup. Someone had been cooking their evening meal. I wondered if they had dimmed the flame or taken the precaution to extinguish it. What if the missile didn't harm us, but now we were at risk of being consumed by a raging fire? My thoughts raced and discovered other potential ways that might harm us. When I paused and saw the calm in the residents, the organized flow of the community struck me. Organized chaos is what I would call it. It was a well practiced routine. Children sat with their parents playing their video game. No one shook or cried or screamed. We were all in this together. I am different after having gone through this experience.
I am braver.
I am stronger.
I am more understanding of this process and this nation.
Ten minutes dragged on, and finally, the coast was clear to go back to the apartment. The phone rang, and the sight of my friend's daughter's name on the caller ID made me smile.
“How did you get through your first siren?”
My mind went to the word “first”. There will be more. I know that.
“I’m okay. Ima took good care of me. It was scary and now I have a different perspective and understanding of what happens. We didn’t make it to the safe room.”
“We didn’t either. You will be okay. We wanted you to know we were thinking of you.”
The people who knew I was here phoned Jennifer asking about my wellbeing.
“How did Chellie make it through the…event?” they said.
And a few of my friends rang me up too. I'm incredibly moved by the kindness and care of everyone.
The most impressive thing about this event was the incredible strength, resilience, and empathy of my people. I'm proud to belong to a group of people who are so strong, brave and courageous.
May the world live in peace.
Am Yisrael Chai!
With love and gratitude,
Chellie
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So glad you're safe! Thanks once again for your insight and sharing!
Thank u for sharing your experience. No one fully understands what’s really going on here and what it feels like until they’re here experiencing it theme selves